Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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