thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
