So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
