perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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