At least make sure they are 18
Why
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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