There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
