I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i now understand why vodka
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
