So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize