remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
