Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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