Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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