Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
