BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
