I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
