wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
