worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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