I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize