do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
