I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
