ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
