This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
