we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
