I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
