As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
it hurts more in the daytime
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
