Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
