i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
