Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
