I hate your face
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When did angry sex become our thing?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize