He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
