So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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