I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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