Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
