Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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