"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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