i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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