I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
