We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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