remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
