She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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