I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
