At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
