don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
