does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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