No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
PANTIES FOUND
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize