Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
