After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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