I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I did not marry a roomba.
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