Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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