It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
