it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
