It's Friday. Sex?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
