called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I want her autograph on my taint
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
