You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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