Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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