Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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