how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
